I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
