you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
