You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
