Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
