dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
