Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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