did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
