i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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