If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Shame is for Republicans.
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