Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
