How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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