also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
