Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
