It's like God shit irony all over that family
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
