I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
