Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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