So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I love you. Go after that dick
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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