Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
bring money and cleavage
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
