last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
