I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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