That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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