i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
