I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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