I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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