That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
