i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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