Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Alive.
So much puke
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You ate ashes out of my bong
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
