I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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