its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
