I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
