My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
