The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
