Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
