I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
