Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
