Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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