So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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