Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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