Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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