it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
