I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
