Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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