fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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