PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
