it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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