Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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