Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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