I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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