yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Operation Purity has been aborted
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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