i think my tv is drunk
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
