So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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